Pressure Cooker

This post marks a couple firsts for me: It's the first time that I will post not one single recipe, but a full course meal as well. It also marks the first time that I have ever completely lost my shit over one of my recipes.

It started a couple weeks ago when I took a request from Vincent Lambert, porn reporter extraordinaire, for a chocolate mousse recipe. Despite my previous attempt at mousse a couple years back resulting in White Chocolate Soup, I decided to go for it, as I am something of a gigantic idiot, and also because I like Vince.

A couple days later, I got an email from Mama Feist telling me that she was bringing me a sofa. In return I offered to have her and her boyfriend over a dinner of General Tao Chicken, her favourite dish. I figured I would do both recipes at the same time, as to kill two birds with one stone. Easy? Not so much.

Dark Chocolate Mousse
(Adapted from Bobby Flay)

• 5 1/2 oz. of Dark Chocolate
• 14 oz. of Cold Heavy Cream
• 3 Egg Whites
• 1 oz. of Sugar
• Whipped cream and shaved chocolate for garnish

Looking at the above recipe, I figured it wouldn't be anything too difficult, right? Well, it started out that way. I chopped the chocolate coursely and melted it in a bain marie (which is like a bowl placed in a pot of boiling water. It serves to heat something without burning it using direct heat). Once turning the dark chocolate into liquid pleasure, I set it aside to beat my the heavy cream.

You have to beat it until it stiffens and begins to form soft peaks, and the only way to do it is by placing it over some ice. Unfortunately, I didn't make enough, causing me to run around The Village like a chicken with it's head cut off. While I never found a bag of ice, I did manage to stumble upon my gay uncles (who happen to be getting married this weekend!) who also happen to be chefs. Lucky, huh? Anyway, they told me to put all the utensils in the freezer for about ten minutes, then beat it again hard. After doing so, I found my cream stiffening nicely until I got a whipped consistency.

Then came the eggs...The reason I failed the last time was because of the eggs. You're supposed to beat these while incorporating the sugar until it forms soft peaks as well, and if you don't beat it enough, your mousse won't solidify. After a first attempt where my eggs did little more than turn into high-protein foam, I added a bit of cream of tartar with the sugar, and my eggs became the meringue like substance I was looking for. After that, it was just a matter of folding in the eggs, then the cream with a whisk, then letting it cool in the fridge. I served the mousse in some goblets, topped with whipped cream and shaved chocolate.

It was at this point that Mama Feist, the boyfriend and my family dog Kahlua came through the door. While they sat down on the new couch and discussed whether Angel's David Boreanaz was also in Bones, I got to work making...

General Tao Chicken

• Cubed Chicken
• Flour
• An Egg
• Soy Sauce
• Oil
• A bottle or two of General Tao Chicken Sauce

For the most part, this isn't a very exact recipe. Got cut up the chicken into 1" cubes, then mix it with an egg and some soy sauce. When sufficiently moistened, toss it with the flour then fry it in oil until browned. Once it's fried, cook it in a wok with the oil and General Tao sauce. You can also fry it up with some copped peppers and onions for a little extra zing, then serve it on a bed of rice. Honestly, it's the simplest thing to make, but it tastes SO good.

For the salad, just toast some almond slices, then toss them in a bowl with mixed lettuce, sliced mandarins and some raspberry vinaigrette, then serve with a nice Pinot Grigio. Bon Appétit!