Pornstar In The Kitchen: Key Lime Pie: Fun With Whipped Cream

To be honest with you, I have a bit of a rocky relationship with pie. While there are a lot of pies I'm quite fond of, it seems like the only ones that get any press are the shit ones. I'm looking at you, apple pie. You hear me? You're dead to me, apple pie! You and all your fruit pie brethren! YOU'RE ALL DEAD TO ME! DEAD LIKE LINCOLN!

...Ahem. Sorry, don't know where that came from.

Anyways, the smoother pies have always held a place in my heart. Custards, puddings, shit like that, really. Stupid fruit pies think they're so great...Lemon and lime pies are a favourite, mostly because they have that tangy little kick to them, but they're still topped off with some sweet, fluffy goodness. Anyhoodle, thanks to Rocco Giovanni, I decided to try my hand at a Key Lime Pie this week. The recipe is as follows...

Key Lime Pie
(courtesy Joe's Stone Crab Restaurant)

200 g of Graham Crackers
5 Tb of melted butter
3 Egg Yolks
2 Tsp of lime zest
14-oz of Condensed Milk
2/3 cup of lime juice
An entire can of whipped cream

Start off by crushing the graham crackers in a food processor, or just wreck their shit with a rolling pin. You have no idea how much fun this part is to me. Love it. Anyway, once your done with that, stir in the melted butter until it's all sticky, then press it into a pie plate of your choosing. I always have trouble with this part, but who the hell are we kidding, no one cares about the crust anyways. It's all about the filling. Your crust can look like it was beaten to death with the fugly stick, but as long as you've got some rockin' filling, no one cares. Anyway, bake that at 350 degrees (F) for 8 minutes until it's golden brown.

Next, beat together the three egg yolks with the lime zest into a frothy goodness with an electric mixer, or, if you're like me and you're too cheap to buy one and you're too lazy to steal the one your dad never uses, beat it with a whisk until your arm gets tired and your sex life goes down the drain. Afterward, beat in the condensed milk gradually until it becomes thick and delicious, then do the same for the lime juice. Pour the filling into the pie crust and bake it at 350 (again) for ten minutes. When it's done, cool it on a rack, then fridge that bitch.

Once it's completely cool, break out that can of whipped cream and go to town. Put as much or as little on it as you want. Personally, I like to smother it with whipped cream because, let's face it, whipped cream is delicious. Actually, I might have gone just a tiny bit overboard with the whipped cream...