Hey Look, More Cupcakes

Yes, this is the third post in a row that features cupcakes. But you know what? Fuck it, everyone loves cupcakes. Did you know that cupcakes are officially a dietary staple of Manhattan? Yup, right up there with coffee, overpriced food from restaurants that you will never get into, and crystal meth. In all honesty, I've just always had a fondness for cupcakes. Sure, they're nowhere near as big as cupcakes, but they're small and spunky and their size to ass-kicking ratio is pretty damn spot on.

Vegan Rootbeer Float Cupcakes
(Via BitterSweet)

• 1 Cup of Rootbeer
• 1 tsp. of Apple Cider Vinegar
• 3/4 Cup of Sugar
• 1/3 Cup of Canola Oil
• 1/2 tsp. of vanilla
• 2 tsp. of Rootbeer extract (you can get it online or at Walmart)
• 1 1/3 Cup of Flour
• 3/4 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. of baking powder

Start off by mixing together the Rootbeer and the vinegar, then letting it stand for a couple minutes. Whisk in the sugar and oil, then integrate the extracts. Mix together the flour, baking soda and powder and then add it gradually into the wet ingredients. Mix it all together until it forms a batter, then pour it into paper liners and bake it at 350 degrees for 18-22 minutes until a toothpick or a fork comes out clean. Once they're cooled, top it off with a small scoop of vegan vanilla ice cream and a cherry.

Maple Bacon Cupcakes
(via Vanilla Garlic)

• 1 stick of butter, plus a half tablespoon
• 1/2 a Tbsp. of solidified bacon fat
• 1 Egg
• 1/4 Cup + a Tbsp. of Brown Sugar
• 1/4 Cup of Maple Syrup
• 1 1/4 Cup of Flour
• 1 tsp. of baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. of baking powder
• 1/4 Cup of Milk
• 1/4 of minced bacond, cooked and drained (approx. 5 slices)
• Half a stick of Butter
• 2 Tbsp. of Maple Syrup
• 1 Cup of Powdered sugar
  

Cook at least five thick strips of bacon in a skillet, saving the bacon grease and putting it into the fridge or freezer to solidify. While waiting, mince the bacon, saving 1/4 Cup for the cakes, eating whatever excess is left. Go ahead; you deserve it.
Once your fat has solidified, mix half a tablespoon with the butter until fluffy, then beat in your brown sugar and maple syrup. At the risk of sounding like Ina Garten, make sure you use GOOD syrup, not that fake American shit. Real syrup is thin as water and comes in a can. Accept no substitutes on this one. Also, be very careful about measuring your syrup; this stuff is extremely testy in baking, and fucking it up can ruin a batter. No pressure though. Anyway, when the syrup and sugar is mixed in, mix in your egg.

Now, sift together your flour, baking soda and powder (AGAIN) then incorporate it into the batter, alternating between the flour and the milk and finishing with the flour. Finally, add your minced bacon, fold it in, then pour it into paper cupcake liners and bake at 350 degrees for 18-22 minutes, or until the toothpick comes out clean. To frost them, just mix together half a stick of butter with the syrup and sugar, and once they're cool, frost those bitches up.